Creating memories

• Choose a special song to remember your child. Listen to the words several times and make sure they have meaning to you. Be sure to reflect your child's interests and personality. You can bring us your own favourite songs or we can help you with choices. Our Graphic Designer will print the words to the song on special paper to be handed out to friends and family at the memorial service.
  
  
• Bring a special stuffed animal such as a teddy bear, soft toys from siblings, cards and letters from siblings, a special necklace for your child to be buried with.
  
  
• Choose a special outfit (perhaps the other children could assist in choosing the outfit) and a special blanket for the baby/child’s final sleep.Don't forget booties and perhaps a bonnet or headband (for a girl). We will remove your child's identification bracelet prior to burial for you to keep.
  
  
• If the child is older, it will be helpful to give us a photograph of your child which clearly shows their hairstyle. You may wish to have a permanent record of this time; we can take photographs, a lock of hair and possibly a baby's hand- or foot-print.
  
  
• We can also make special moulds of little hands and/or feet which will be framed in a box frame with other keepsakes, locks of hair, etc.
  
  
• Little finger prints can also be taken which is then set on sterling silver for a pendant or keyring.
  
  
• Bring us your photo’s in either digital or hard copy format, and we will create a photo montage in DVD format which can be played during the service, with a favourite song as background music.
  
  
• If at all possible, mom and dad should try to write a letter to the child. The letter should be read by a close friend or family member on behalf of the parents. The letter should be about the feelings of grief, loss and love for the child. Also, choose a special poem or two as a eulogy. All these can be printed in the funeral programme.
  
  
• You may want to keep your own memorial such as a memory box or a memory book, containing items that help you commemorate your baby 's life.
  
  
• Flowers offer an opportunity for those present to become participants, rather than spectators. You may suggest that people bring a flower from their own garden, or a single flower from a florist, to contribute at a particular moment; or we may provide a flower for those present at the service, either to contribute or perhaps to take home with them. Some people prefer to have flowers only from the close family, and ask others to give a donation to a charity instead.
  
  
• Ask others to send stuffed animals or toys instead of flowers. After the services, you can donate to a local charity on behalf of your child.
  
  
• We can organise newspaper announcements, you will want to agree the wording with us.
  
  
• The parents should strongly consider closing the coffin/casket for the final time.
  
  
• In some instances, the parents can ride to the cemetery in our mini hearse, with the child.
  
  
• The family can request to shovel the first dirt. This is a therapeutic ritual for many. Guests may also take a handful of sand or flowers and sprinkle it onto the grave. You may stay with your child until our staff have completed the burial proceedings.
  
  
• A balloon release is a warm tribute to the significance of the child's life. Consider this ritual at the very end of the ceremony.
  
  
• One or more white doves to be released can also be arranged  by us.
  
  
• The reception after the funeral should be what is most comfortable for you. It can be held at the family home, or the house of a relative or friend. Preparing food can be one way in which relatives and friends can be helpful, but outside caterers can be arranged by us.  You may want to be with just the immediate family, or invite everyone who attended the funeral. It is your choice.
  
  
• A memorial book at the service can give family members and friends an opportunity to write messages of condolence and can be a record of the names, addresses and telephone numbers of all those who attended the service.
  
  
• If possible, a ceremony at sundown is beautiful. Consider a Chapel of Rest unity candlelight service. This is a service where one larger candle is lit, and each person lights their candle off the main unity candle in honour of the child.
  
  
• We have special woven caskets, imported and made with natural fibre that does not look or feel like a traditional coffin/casket. This is unique to Sonja Smith Funeral Group and can be viewed at any one of our branches.